lookatthisjeopardycontestant:

I. Hate. This. Jeopardy. Contestant.  I haven’t felt such loathing for a J! contestant in a long, long time, to the point that nobody even comes to mind immediately.

O F F E N S E S

• DID NOT WEAR A TIE, DID NOT TUCK IN SHIRT, SHIRT IS SHORT SLEEVED: Do you know why you wear a tie on TV? so a few million people don’t have to see your undershirt, and because fuck you wear a tie.
• TALKED TOO FUCKING MUCH: this asshole hammed it up so much during his introduction that Trebek made the old-person gaffe of mistaking ostentatious tweeness [ostentweetiousness] for likeable enthusiasm. 
• COUNTED HIS TEETH DURING A QUESTION ABOUT CANINES: 4 of them.  That is how many are in a mouth.  More importantly, if you can’t identify the shape of your own teeth with your tongue then it is time to go to a dentist to make sure that someone hasn’t knocked all your teeth the fuck out of your head for being such a god damn fucko.
• DID NOT KNOW WHO CICERO WAS: all the contestants on today’s show were guilty of this, but I’m only angry at one of them right now.

ARGH! LOOK AT THIS FUCKING JEOPARDY! CONTESTANT!

i am serious, guys. this is the best tumblr ever and everyone should be following it. EVERYONE. even the freaks who don’t like jeopardy.