inothernews:

OBJECTIVE:  To harness my background in government and telegenicness to catapult my uninformed and uniquely unqualified ass into the Presidency in 2012, thereby making a laughingstock of our nation and of the democratic process herein.  Ooops—did I say “democrat”?  LOL!

EXPERIENCE:

• TV STAR, The Learning Channel, 2010-present.  I star in a TV show with my family!  We act au naturel, oops did I say “au naturel”?  That implies we’re naked!  I meant “all natural,” you know, like moose meat which we shoot ourselves!  And someone filmed it and put it on TV, oh gosh it was soooooo much fun!  Not caught on tape: me doing eyerolls at local teachers, I mean where do they get off but really!
• CONTRIBUTOR, Fox News Channel, 2009-present.  I love cable news operations—they’re the only newspapers I read!!!  Arguing with Karl “Backwards Republican” or “Repube-ican” as we true conservatives like to say Rove is the highlight of my day!
• GOVERNOR, State of Alaska, 2006-2009.  Oh gosh, I didn’t get to finish out my term, but no biggie, I wasn’t unemployed for very long!  While in office, signed a lot of bills.  And books, because I wrote some!
• VICE-PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, Republican Party, 2008.  This was soooooooo much fun too!  Even though John McCain wasn’t ideal as running mate, he made me look like a real star!  I would like to thank Mr. McCain for pulling me out of obscurity and putting me onto the grand stage of America, where everyone now knows my name and invites me to tea parties!  Couldn’t have done it without you, Johnny boy!
• MAYOR, City of Wasilla, 1996-2002.  I liked being mayor a lot!
• CITY COUNCIL, City of Wasilla, 1992-2002.  But I liked being a Councilwoman better!

Proficient in Twitter and Facebook; really strong email passwords; published author.  Writing samples upon request; professional references please contact the American people!

perfect.